Understanding tragedy with love
Children, disaster unexpectedly strikes the lives of many of us. The sudden death of a loved one or unbearable financial losses can make us lose our mental balance. We may then feel overwhelmed by sorrow and disappointment.
If anyone is responsible for this pain, we might feel intense anger towards that person. That anger can lead to a strong desire to take revenge. However, if we are careful not to act indiscriminately, we can lead the mind back to the right path.
To do so, we must calm the mind at once. Only a calm mind can think clearly. Strong and uncontrolled emotions affect one’s discernment and impair one’s memory. Hence, instead of reacting impulsively, we must calm the mind down first so that we can think clearly and ascertain the causes for the disaster that befell us.
Amma remembers a story. A drunken driver knocked into a young man, killing him. The young man’s mother could not bear the sorrow of her son’s untimely death. For days on end, she remained lost in memories of her beloved son. She was overwhelmed by grief, which slowly transformed into the desire for revenge. She decided to kill the driver to avenge her son’s death.
But when her mind became calmer, another thought entered her mind: “If I kill him, will my son come back to life? No. Not only that, I suffered unbearable anguish because of my son’s death. If I kill that man, his mother and loved ones will suffer so much. Why must they grieve because of me? No one else should suffer the misfortune I did.”
She reflected further. “The car knocked my son down because the driver was drunk. If he wasn’t drunk, this wouldn’t have happened. So, the real cause of this tragedy is alcohol. If I launch a campaign to increase awareness among people of the dangers of drinking and driving, such accidents can be reduced.”
She enlisted the help of some friends to increase awareness among people about the perils of alcoholism; she spent the rest of her life in this way. Her earnest efforts led to the creation of a large organisation dedicated to helping addicts recover.
If she had killed the man who killed her son, how much harm would have befallen her! Not just that, the world would not have benefited in any way from the act of revenge. Once she realised the real cause of her son’s death, she was able to harness her anger to serve a noble purpose. This benefitted both her and society.
We usually do not try to find out the real cause of our problems. This is why they never cease. If we calmly seek their real causes, like the mother in this story did, we can channel our anger and desire for revenge along an outlet that benefits society. If we strive to find out calmly the reasons for our problems instead of reacting impulsively, we will be able to do a lot of good in the world.
The writer is a world-renowned spiritual leader and humanitarian.